i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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