imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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