Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
