she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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