I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
