I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
