every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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