The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
