Welp...herpes.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I see more hoeing in ur future
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
