I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm passing your future prison.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
