I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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