it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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