I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
