I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
