How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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