3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
