are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize