i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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