We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
