Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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