South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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