Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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