Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
