Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
