I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
