this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
