I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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