dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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