I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
