In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
