Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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