we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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