weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
