I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
