Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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