Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
