Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
