he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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