We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
