so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
