Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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