i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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