Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
