The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
