In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
