nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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