i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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