If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
