my vag is so smooth its legendary
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
the raccoons are back...
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