But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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