I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
